


Broken Glass of What Was Everything

by invective, NoHappyEnding



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, NHE2017, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:19:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13765953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invective/pseuds/invective, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoHappyEnding/pseuds/NoHappyEnding
Summary: Chanyeol never read the tabloids, because anyone with half a brain knows they’re all facetious trash. And yet, he finds himself stopping right in front of the magazine rack by a Ralphs self-checkout, eyes zeroing in on the bold, yellow declaration: ‘Love is Dead.’





	Broken Glass of What Was Everything

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** 2017-119  
>  **Pairing/Main character(s):** Chanyeol/Suho  
>  **Word count:** 13408  
>  **Rating:** NC-17  
>  **Warning(s):** Character death, infidelity, mild violence, unhealthy obsession
> 
>  **Author's note:** I generally think of Chanyeol as an Asian, slightly-less-destructive Armie Hammer, but I couldn’t help but give his filmography to Kris instead. Hope the prompter enjoys!

_Love Is Dead! Kris Wu and Junmyeon Kim Call it Quits Just Months Before Eleventh Anniversary_

By Cheryle Nippe

 

Say it ain’t so! Oscar-nominated actors Kris Wu and Junmyeon Kim have ended their decade-long relationship. The two fell in love on the set of _Red Azalea_ , where they played gay youths living in the early days of the Cultural Revolution, at the ages of eighteen and seventeen, respectively.

Though rumors flew earlier in the year of a possible engagement and even adoption, the pair split up just two months before their November anniversary. A source close to the _Blossoms_ star explains, “They’ve been together since they were teenagers, so it was almost impossible to tell where one began and the other ended. They felt like they didn’t know who they were, so they decided to find themselves.”

Kim has since vacated their 10,000 square-foot Malibu home following the official announcement of their split. See how their relationship went from being picture perfect to falling apart. (p.46)

Chanyeol has been standing there for an embarrassingly long time in the middle of the aisle, his tub of congratulatory ice cream no doubt melting in the little black basket.

He had heard the rumors, of course. Everyone had. If nothing else, people in Hollywood talk. It helped that he also happened to be a degree of separation from the industry’s newest bachelor, having spent two months trying to figure out how his undead dragon’s breaths sounded. And of course, Chanyeol asked questions. _Everyone_ has a celebrity crush. It just so happens that Chanyeol works in the same industry.

But that also means he should know better than to be reading tabloids with bright yellow letters and an ‘insider’ quote. Most of the time, their sources are underpaid interns delivering their coffee, and their stories are made up shlock at best or incredible invasions of privacy at worst. At this particular moment, the blurb he’s reading falls into the latter category. But…

No. He is _better_ than that.

And so, with great reluctance, he sets the magazine back down, careful not to wrinkle its pages with the rack, and makes his way over to the self-checkout.

…

To say that he kind of had an infatuation with Junmyeon Kim was like saying an apple was kind of a fruit. Who could blame him, though? Bursting onto the scene with obvious Oscar bait when Chanyeol was sixteen, Junmyeon became his generation’s wet dream. The very definition of a heartthrob, a slew of successive roles cemented Junmyeon a place in the cultural zeitgeist. Chanyeol can remember the first time he saw _Red Azalea_ with his parents. He spent half the film sunken in his seat trying to ignore both his boner and his parents’ discomfort as Kris and Junmyeon held each other close and pressed desperate kisses to each other’s lips.

Fast forward ten years, Chanyeol has made quite a comfortable life for himself in Los Angeles, living in a tiny studio apartment downtown. It still cost an arm and a leg, but the fact that he was doing sound design for television meant he’d gotten himself a relatively stable source of income. It was even better that he’d managed to get on a show he actually really liked. (Or did, at least when it first started. But he digresses). The best part about it, though was that Junmyeon was on the show. Unfortunately, even seven seasons in and only one left to go, he still hasn’t worked up the chutzpah to speak to Junmyeon at premiere parties. In Chanyeol’s defense, though, Kris was always there. And Kris is tall. (So is Chanyeol). And intimidating. (Unlike Chanyeol). So, obviously, there was nothing he could’ve done at the time to woo the man of his dreams. Now, however, due to the reliable information of a certain Cheryl Nippe, he has a chance. Yes, it’s still more likely that snowballs will form in hell, but it’s still _something_. And Chanyeol is nothing if not optimistic.

He is also a bit of a drunk, which is why, on July 16th, a Sunday, he’s downed three glasses of champagne at the latest premiere party, a fourth nursed gently as he watches Junmyeon speaking to his co-stars. He doesn’t look like a man who’s just gone through a breakup, smiling and laughing while sharing funny filming anecdotes. There’s a pinkish tint to his cheeks, probably from the alcohol he too had been sipping. A martini glass sits primly between his fingers. Junmyeon looks warm, friendly. Approachable.

So Chanyeol approaches him after the other actors have dispersed to either refill their drinks or to speak to other members of the crew. It is a mistake to begin speaking after a quick, (ostensibly) confidence-boosting swig of his beverage because his introduction comes out as a croak. “Hey there, I’m Chanyeol Park.” He coughs once, pounds his chest, then shakes his head. “Chanyeol Park,” he repeats. “Sound designer. I wanted to come say hi.”

He’s very lucky that Junmyeon has a sense of humor, the elder snickering and patting his arm gently. “It’s nice to meet you, Chanyeol. I guess you’re the one responsible for making me sound all cool when I’m speaking fantasy gibberish?” Oh jeez, oh man, oh poopy, he sounds even nicer in person. He _behaves_ nicely too, considering the way Junmyeon stares politely while Chanyeol has his little mental breakdown.

“Sorry, I’m a little starstruck,” Chanyeol admits. “I’m the one who came over to talk to you, but just… _wow_. You’re just really cool.” This was not the first impression he wanted to leave on the other. Junmyeon was _the_ celeb crush, and here Chanyeol was, making a fool of himself. He was supposed to be the suave, cool, sexy rebound-turned-husband. At this point, he was lucky to move past an awkward laugh and quick exit.

Junmyeon chuckles again, and Chanyeol’s arm all but incinerates as the elder strokes it amicably. “Oh, you’re so cute,” he coos. Chanyeol isn’t quite sure if it’s a good thing to be cooed at. Junmyeon, cheeks flushed, gives him a long and obvious once-over. “You’re _really_ cute. Are you single?”

Well. _That_ was unexpected.

“Um, yeah,” Chanyeol says. He throws a cautious look around him. Nobody’s paying attention. One or two passers-by wave jovially at Junmyeon, but for the most part, nobody cares that Junmyeon Kim is speaking to a lowly sound designer. He scratches at his nose, a nervous habit. “Why do you —”

“I don’t think you’re the type of person to ask stupid questions, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon interjects. HIs gaze sharpens, Chanyeol suddenly squirming under the scrutiny. “I’m asking if you’re single because I want to ask you out. Surely that was obvious enough?”

Chanyeol ducks his head. “I didn’t want to assume anything…”

“Really?” God, even down to the arched brow, every bit of Junmyeon is stunning. “I could’ve sworn from the way you approached me, you were expecting _something_.”

“A friend?” Chanyeol tries.

They say people think that people they find funny are attractive. He can only hope that the ever omniscient “they” are correct about that. Junmyeon seems to think he’s both, given how much he’s flirt-giggled with him all night. Chanyeol hasn’t missed the playful touches, fluttering lashes, the sultriness of Junmyeon’s tone. And, of course, the fact that they trade numbers by the end of the night.

His hands shake the entire twenty-minute call three days later.

…

“Okay, slow down here,” Kyungsoo says, and Chanyeol’s not entirely sure if he’s talking to him or his dog. It’s hard to tell over the phone.

“I’m sitting down at home,” he says helpfully. “Not going anywhere.”

As usual, Kyungsoo ignores him. “How in the _fuck_ did you manage to get a date with Junmyeon Kim?” He knows full well the huge crush Chanyeol developed and nurtured since adolescence. “Like, why _you_?”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.” To be honest, Chanyeol’s not really sure himself. He’s not an ugly guy by any means. In fact, he’d even go as far as to say that he’s very handsome. Far above average. Chanyeol’s been told as much, at the very least. “I guess he thinks I’m a funny person? I’m charming as fuck, you know.”

“What if it’s a prank?” Kyungsoo’s voice is a little muffled and garbled as if he’s eating something.

“He’s not that kinda guy,” Chanyeol says quickly. Junmyeon’s intelligent and witty but not cruel. He’s noble and kind and generous. Pranking people with dates is _not_ something he would do.

A rustling fills the speaker. Kyungsoo must be moving the phone to his other shoulder or something. “I’m just wondering if seeing him is a good idea.”

“What? Why? Soo, he’s the man of my dreams! Sixteen-year-old me is _sobbing_ right now.”

“And that’s the problem, isn’t it? You can’t tell me there’s nothing hero-worship-y going on here. Don't you think the Junmyeon you conjured up shortly after puberty as your ideal partner would be different from the genuine article? I’m just saying… I don’t think you’re looking at this very objectively.”

“You’re being ridiculous. Of course, I do. I’m not the idiot who couldn’t figure out annual Jeju dates were a ‘couple’ thing.”

“That was one time!” Kyungsoo pauses. “Are you really sure about this? You have a tendency to… obsess. And given that this is _Junmyeon_ of all people… I’m just saying this as your friend.”

Chanyeol smiles and sighs through his nose. “Yeah. I know. I appreciate it. I promise it won’t turn out like last time, okay?”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says, sounding uncertain. “I believe you.”

…

Chanyeol had the excuse of being slightly inebriated when they’d first met at the party, but their wine hasn’t come out yet and he can only peer at Junmyeon over the tops of their menus for so long before it starts to get disconcerting. He’s also incredibly glad the tablecloth is so long. It hides the way Junmyeon’s toes lightly tease their way up his leg. The steak restaurant is too classy a place for Chanyeol to indiscreetly adjust his halfie.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” Junmyeon asks. His brow arches elegantly even as he peruses the several side dishes offered. “You seem a little bit stiff.”

“No, you’re making me incredibly aroused,” Chanyeol replies. _Oh, shit_ — oh, Junmyeon’s laughing. Crisis (hopefully) averted. He clears his throat, adjusting his collar. He’d went for classy but casual with a white polo and black slacks, but Junmyeon _has_ to show him up with his navy blue suit. He looks effortlessly cool with no tie and the top button of his shirt unbuttoned. Junmyeon’s collarbone is exposed, and Chanyeol is _salivating_. “So, I mean, I guess I _am_ a little uncomfortable.”

“Ah.” Junmyeon wriggles his toes, making Chanyeol bump his knee on the table. The utensils and their wine glasses clank embarrassingly, drawing attention from people a few tables away. “Sorry about that.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No. I’m not.” Junmyeon could eat him alive and Chanyeol would thank him. He’s so entranced by the way Junmyeon talks, the movement of his lips and the shapes they make as he speaks, that he’s not entirely sure what he ordered. Even if the restaurant is dimly lit, Chanyeol is still transfixed.

This date (all ten minutes of it) is leaning heavily towards sex rather than… an actual date and Chanyeol’s not really sure whether or not he should be glad. God, yes, of _course_ , he would love to fuck Junmyeon — or be fucked, he’s not picky — but he’d… well, now it sounds stupid just thinking about it. He’d wanted something _more_. Rebound or otherwise, he was looking for something greater than just one night of sex.

Junmyeon pinches at his calf with his big and second toe. “Hey. Where’d you go?” He rests his chin in his palm, letting the Pinot Noir sit on his tongue before swallowing mesmerizingly.

“Can I be, like, really candid?” Junmyeon would probably like that. Kris was blunt as fuck. He was (is; he should probably not refer to the man in the past tense) intense, no-nonsense in a lot of his interviews. As Chanyeol expects, Junmyeon nods. “What are you expecting out of me tonight?”

The foot touching his stills. “What do you mean?”

“I’m just...” Chanyeol fidgets with his napkin. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. He’s usually a good talker — one that may have a slight problem with saying the wrong thing. At least, that’s what Kyungsoo says. (Rather, the fact that it’s Junmyeon gets him all tongue-tied.) “I’m very flattered by your attention. But I didn’t ask you out for a dinner with the intention of getting you in my bed. I admire you a lot. And I was… ecstatic when you showed interest. I asked you out because I really like you as a person. I was hoping you’d like me as a person, too. I’m sorry if I’m reading you wrong, but the way you’re coming across isn’t… like that at all.”

Junmyeon doesn’t answer right away. Usually, that would be a clear sign of “You fucked up” to Chanyeol, but despite the fact that Junmyeon’s face has lost its previously amused expression, the elder’s look is still… ambiguous. He doesn’t seem offended, nor angry. Simply… ponderous, if Chanyeol was pressed to choose a word. Maybe even a bit surprised. He harbors that only for a second, before immediately panicking, as one does in social situations.

Chanyeol feels his throat go dry at the increasingly prolonged silence hanging between them. He should’ve kept his mouth shut. He’s screwed this up, he ruined something perfectly _fine_. Who did he think he _was_ , demanding Junmyeon’s romantic attraction when he already had it sexually? Hel _lo_ , Chanyeol — your first wet dream ever featured Junmyeon. Junmyeon was ready to make that dream come true. But, nope. Chanyeol complained — _complained_ — even as a god-like Junmyeon was giving him the time of day. Way to just _keep_ messing up —

“That was… honestly kind of sexy.” Junmyeon smiles, this time significantly less seductive than he was before. “Ah, that probably wasn’t what you wanted to hear. What I mean is… yes, I don’t think I was ever really looking for anything past sex tonight. Let’s be honest, you were pretty much a goofy pushover when we first met. You were cute, but… I didn’t see anything particularly interesting even if you were, admittedly adorable. I certainly didn’t expect this level of backbone from you. It’s really sexy. Consider me… intrigued.”

“Oh.”

The actor arches a brow as he begins cutting into his filet mignon. “Was that a one-time thing?”

Chanyeol shakes his head quickly. “No, I just. Wasn’t expecting that to turn you on. Though, if we’re being honest, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect in the first place.” At least they were on relatively equal footing now.

Or as equal as they can get with Chanyeol’s huge, throbbing crush still in the background.

“So how do I upgrade to ‘I’m interested’?” He tries to sound as nonchalant as possible. He’s no thespian, but he’s trying his hardest to channel Kris’s Harrison Ford-ish charm. Exuding coolness, that alluring insouciance that earned him a ten-year-long relationship with Junmyeon will, with any luck, beget Chanyeol the same thing. “I’m already paying for dinner.”

“Ha! Don’t even think about it. I bet I have faster hands than you.” Junmyeon’s foot lightly taps Chanyeol’s shin. “Just… talk, I guess. Tell me about yourself. Can’t be interested in someone I know nothing about, right?”

Oh. Talking. If Kyungsoo were here, he’d say that was his strong suit. “Well, you already know that my name is Chanyeol. That I’m a sound designer. That I’m _incredibly_ handsome… “ He taps his chin with the end of his fork as Junmyeon chortles. “I’m twenty-six. My mother dropped me several times as a baby. I first learned of my love for sound design and music while assembling a drum set made out of random household objects when I was five. My growth spurt happened during my freshman year of high school and I ended with nine-foot-long limbs overnight. I played football in high school. My best friend thinks I talk too much, and I’m currently inclined to believe him please say something?”

Junmyeon doesn’t but hums in amusement instead. “You remind me of those old dating ads — pre-eHarmony era. It’s cute.” The way Junmyeon wipes his hands — one finger at a time — is even cuter, in Chanyeol’s opinion. “Is there anything you’d like to know about _me_? You know _my_ name is Junmyeon. I’m an actor, and I like to think of myself as moderately good looking.

“I’m twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight. My parents were very responsible with my infant self. And I doubt I will ever have a growth spurt since I’ve been this height since eighth grade.” He snatches the credit card tray before Chanyeol can. “I’ve been nominated for two Academy Awards, but my family’s done a very good job of keeping me down-to-earth and humble.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, they were two nominations that you deserved very much.” Chanyeol had gotten off to both performances. But, also, the movies were very good.

“Ah, well. Not the way they see it. My income may be greater than what their beauty supply store in K-town makes in five years, but it’s still not _real_ work to them. I guess they’re just glad I didn’t ‘waste’ any money on going to school for acting, so.” Junmyeon’s shoulder jerks as he looks up, brows lifting and lips puckered. “Sorry to suddenly make this depressing. I didn’t mean to.”

Chanyeol reaches over to take the other’s hand, clenched tightly in a little fist. It loosens up as soon as he makes contact. Junmyeon eyes their entwined fingers, Adam’s apple bobbing. “I can’t say this is… the most conventional date I’ve been on,” Chanyeol jokes. He isn’t entirely sure if the laugh leaving the other’s lips was genuine or a sympathy chortle. “But, I enjoy being in your company immensely, and after the night is over, I’d like to be in your company again. We could go… dog-walking, or take cooking classes, normal couple stuff. Because I’d like for us to be a couple, and I have the slightest feeling that you’d like that for us too.”

“Mm.” Junmyeon flexes his hand. “You have pretty good instincts, Chanyeol Park.”

He really does, considering they spend the next Saturday afternoon making truffle risotto. Their finished product is, frankly, nothing compared to anything Kyungsoo’s ever made, but the sloppy sex afterward was more than worth the food poisoning.

…

They’re living together. It’s been ten months, and they’re living together. That’s the gestational period of a human being. Ten months. Chanyeol’s glad to have moved out of his puny studio apartment and into Junmyeon’s considerably bigger townhouse. It was remarkably intimate — the first house Junmyeon had bought after _Gifted_ ’s Golden Globe win and subsequent payout. Of course, he soon after moved into Kris Wu’s huge Beverly Hills mansion, so… it wasn’t the best of circumstances surrounding his new home, but Chanyeol’s pretty confident he can screw all the melancholy out of Junmyeon. And given the fact that Junmyeon was also prone to slurring and keening when Chanyeol was balls deep inside of him, the odds that those memories of amazing spectacular intercourse would drive thoughts and memories of Kris “McDreamy” Wu right out of Junmyeon’s pretty little head are looking good. Chanyeol did, after all, have impeccable instincts.

Said instincts are also blaring Kenny Loggins’s _Danger Zone_ in his head as he reads the day’s Vanity Fair headline while waiting for his coffee.

 _Kris Wu and Junmyeon Kim to Reunite on Joan Chen’s_ The Man from UNCLE

Chanyeol had known Junmyeon was fishing for a part — there had been several rounds of auditions, and he’d been there ars Junmyeon was learning ever sleight-of-hand trick in the book, tablecloth swiping and all. He’d known there was _something_ that made him want to the part so bad, but just looking at the script, Chanyeol knew it would fall short of any major nominations. Maybe pick up a cult fandom, but not enough to net Junmyeon his highly-deserved, Leonardo-DiCaprio-level-deprived Oscar.

So what was so alluring about this role? Why did Junmyeon spend three months making sure that he was cast for this film?

Surely, it couldn’t be his ex-boyfriend, whose high publicized rebound with a Kardashian-Jenner five years his junior just ended.

Right?

Kris was back on the market, image shiny and clean even in spite of his brief stint on reality television. All handsome and tall and charming and _perfect_ in every conceivable way. Junmyeon never told Chanyeol why they broke up. Chanyeol never asked. Kris was never really mentioned in their household. He was just… _there_ , in a liminal space, and neither of them dared to touch.

Chanyeol could only imagine the reason Junmyeon kept so mum was because it just hurts to talk about it. Kris and Junmyeon’s relationship lasted an entire decade. That was a huge chunk of his life, full of highs and lows, now twinged bittersweet because of a guy who rebounded with a _Kardashian_. Suffice to say, Chanyeol thought it would be like kicking a puppy to pry.

He also didn’t mention Kris because he was scared.

How could Chanyeol possible compete? Kris is the nation’s favorite star, charming late night talk show hosts with stories about going cross country on Vespas, commiserating with Conan O’Brien over their freakish heights. He’s an outspoken ally to marginalized groups, never failing to mention gender politics in every single one of his interviews. He must’ve been an extraordinary man for Junmyeon to have been with him for so long. Kris is talented. Whereas Junmyeon was a frequent nominee, Kris was a regular winner. In comparison to that, there was no way Chanyeol could ever compare.

Ten months is a long time, but it’s nothing next to eleven years.

There’s no delicate way to approach his concerns without being unreasonable. When Junmyeon comes back from his meeting with Joan, Chanyeol already has takeout on the counter. Sushi. He hopes it will placate the other.

“Hey,” says Junmyeon, smiling as he hangs his coat and plops down on the couch beside CHanyeol. He picks up a tray of sashimi, sets it in his lap and breaks apart a pair of chopsticks. He tucks his feet onto the upholstery and watches the terrible alien documentary Chanyeol left on as white noise.

“Hey,” says Chanyeol, squeezing Junmyeon’s knee. “You looked good on the Vanity Fair spread. Very sexy. But you always look sexy, so.” He accepts a kiss, which tastes just a little bit like soy sauce. He clears his throat. “I, uh, also noticed that you have quite the illustrious cast alongside you. Like Liying Zhao and… Academy Award winner Kris Wu.”

Junmyeon twitches — just minimally. His knee jerks a little. Chanyeol sees it clear as day. It is _not_  a good sign. “Oh, yeah,” Junmyeon says, the picture of serenity. “I was gonna tell you, but… I guess I forgot.” No, he didn’t. “Does that bother you?”

“No!” God, they’re both such fucking liars. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it’s just… I was wondering if _you’re_ okay. I don’t really know what happened between the two of you, but you’re the only one I care about.” He reaches for Junmyeon’s unoccupied hand. It’s not clammy, and he threads their fingers easily. Junmyeon tucks himself into Chanyeol’s frame. For the briefest of moments, their breathing liens up and everything seems to be okay.

Midway through feeding Chanyeol a roll, Junmyeon averts his eyes. “Of course I’m okay.” No one who’s ever said that has ever been genuine. “It wasn’t a _bad_ break. We both saw it coming. You spend almost 100,000 hours together and you just… start to lose sight of who you are. You get used to everything, it just starts to blend together and get numb. Kris and I just woke up one day and knew that our relationship was over.” Bittersweetness is to be expected, so Chanyeol accepts Junmyeon’s tone accordingly.

So, for once, it seems that the tabloids had been right about why _Krismyeon_ feel apart. Just the thought of it, of Junmyeon’s words, is terrifying. Kris is an amazing person. He’s done pretty great things in the Congo and took a break from acting in the wake of the Haitian earthquake to help with the reconstruction effort. If Junmyeon could grow tired of such a wonderful human being in eleven years, how long would it take for him to flat out drop Chanyeol?

As if reading his mind, Junmyeon strokes his cheek tenderly. “That’s not gonna happen to us,” says Junmyeon, blatantly jinxing it. “What we have is something different, okay? You aren’t Kris.”

No, he’s not. And that might be the problem.

“Okay,” says Chanyeol. He kisses Junmyeon deeply, growling as the elder squeaks in surprise, and lays him on the sofa, legs hooked over his shoulders less than twenty minutes later.

…

Filming is a long, arduous process, but Chanyeol is most surprised by the fact that most of it takes place on American soil. Kris, apparently, alternates between filming the still-running medical drama that first shot him into the public eye and filming _UNCLE_ , or, so Junmyeon says. The man’s work ethic is impressive — though one doesn’t get to where Kris Wu is without working hard.

That much was easy to tell when they met, during the first week of shooting, on the Universal backlot. Chanyeol had stopped by to visit Junmyeon. They were blocking a café scene where the spies would be better acquainted with each other after a heart-pounding chase scene filmed the night before. Kris was meant to flip the table while they were rolling but was supposed to refrain from doing so during rehearsal for the sake of props. When he accidentally forgot, his shocked and remorseful “Oh boy! Oh, no... “ caught Chanyeol off guard. He was a sound designer, working mostly on post and never on set. He didn’t have much contact with actors besides when they had to dub their lines. Chanyeol was fully prepared for Kris to be as diva-like as his peers (which his talent would have justified), but he wasn’t. He wasn’t one of those method actors who stewed in their trailers to preserve any feelings of animosity or who sent untowards presents to their co-stars as befitting their role.

Rather, Kris was the exact opposite. He was down-to-earth, funny, and _so_ fucking charming. Chanyeol hated how quickly he’d been taken by the elder.

“Hey,” Kris had said affably, meeting Chanyeol’s power-move handshake head on. “Chanyeol Park, right? Myeon’s told me a lot about you. I didn’t realize I was such a big fan of your work, but here we are! _2049_ , God, that was _amazing_ , man.”

“Uh, thank you,” Chanyeol replied, unsure of how to respond. He certainly didn’t expect the warmth, he couldn’t recall being that nice to any of his exes’ rebounds, but Kris was always a _higher_ _standard_ of guy to begin with, if those “ _Hey girl…_ ” memes were any indication. “Nice to meet you too, man.” He slid a protective arm around Junmyeon, who leaned into his side.

“I gotta say, I didn’t think _Thrones_ would be my style, but I got into it because of the sound design — congrats for that Emmy nom, by the way — and just… wow. _So_ immersive. Where’d you go to school?”

“USC.” One would think Junmyeon was the reason Kris got into the show, considering it had started long before they broke up. There’s something off about the interaction; Chanyeol’s never lost track of a conversation so quickly before. He’s a chatterbox, but Kris _converses_ as if he’s genuinely interested. What was supposed to be a dick-measuring contest quickly morphed into mutual engagement and cordiality.

“No shit! No wonder you’re good!”

Before Chanyeol can realize it, he’s suckered into allowing Kris to third-wheel on his and Junmyeon’s date at a nearby bistro, making easy and (most horrifyingly of all) _friendly_ conversation with the man he thought he’d hate. Though he was fully aware of Kris’s charm and how it affected other people, Chanyeol never imagined he too would fall victim to it.

He’d been so bewildered that he didn’t even notice Junmyeon’s easy agreement to sharing a meal some time with the man who supposedly broke his heart. The whole thing was, really, a little scary.

…

Unsurprisingly, the first thing Kyungsoo asks is if Kris really is handsomer in person. “I’m just saying — people have been telling me that for ages. And he just kind of has that face, y’know? Like, yeah, he’s fucking gorgeous both still and in motion, but you need to see that golden-spiral visage with your own two eyes to —”

“Yes, He’s fucking hot. _Suuuper_ hot, like absolutely mouthwatering and funny and smart and I should just dump Junmyeon for him right now.”

Kyungsoo snorts, an ugly sound in the speaker too close to Chanyeol’s ear. “You’d never do that. Your entire torso’s up Junmyeon’s asshole.”

“Ew, leave us out of your weird macrophilia kinks, you fucking weirdo.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Kyungsoo laughs. “Speaking of Junmyeon, how was it? Was there sexual tension? Was it awkward? Because I can’t imagine it would be super comfortable being the ‘new guy.’”

“Actually… wasn’t that bad.” Chanyeol’s just as surprised. He was fully anticipating antagonism and even prepared for a fist fight should it have come down to that. “I mean, I guess I should’ve expected it, though. Junmyeon told me their break-up was basically like a Gwyneth Paltrow-type ‘conscious uncoupling,’ or whatever. Like, it was just over, they accepted it, and moved on.”

“Huh.” Kyungsoo doesn’t sound convinced. He’s about as lucky in love as Chanyeol, so it would be understandable to take his words with a grain of salt. However, Chanyeol often consulted him on even trivial concerns. As a director, Kyungsoo often examined the human psyche and kenw people better than they knew themselves. Especially actors, which was how he drew amazing performances out of them. “I always thought was kinda bullshit. Like, it’s _Gwyneth Paltrow_.”

“What, you don’t think it’s over?”

“I never said _that_ ,” Kyungsoo says quickly. “I think it’s totally possible they just… fell apart? Sometimes you just lose that spark. It’s probably far more likely than we suspect. I don’t know. I haven’t met Junmyeon — _ahem_ — or Kris, so I can’t say anything, really.”

“Yeah.”

“At least Kris was cool?”

Chanyeol nods, even though he knows Kyungsoo can’t see him. “He sure was.”

…

Before either of them knows it, _UNCLE_ is a third of the way through filming. Only two more months, and then it’ll be Myeonyeol (Chanjun? Junyeol? Chanmyeon? It’s a work in progress, really) time from then onward. Except for the premieres And the press tours. Aside from that, everything would go back to normal.

Or, at least, Chanyeol _hopes_ so. There are some things that are… off about Junmyeon, of which Chanyeol can’t quite put his finger on. The elder is more forgetful than usual, but that might be chalked up to _UNCLE_ being his number one priority. Just yet another thing Chanyeol will just have to wait out. He waits patiently, and pretty frequently.

It _does_ sting, however, when Junmyeon misses their first anniversary.

They never celebrated much. Since they were living together, they’d fallen into a comfortable sense of domesticity, where landmarks never really felt all that special.

One year, though? That _meant_ something. Twelve whole months spent by each other's sides, birthdays, holidays et cetera. The little milestones, like two weeks, one month, were nothing. A year was a commitment. Chanyeol could barely manage to go to the gym weekly for an entire year. 365 days meant something to him.

So it was only natural that he set up a whole elaborate thing, taping cheesy pictures on the wall and scattering rose petals in a trail leading to the dining room where he perfected a steak dish he saw on _Tasty_. There, they would eat, drink, make merry and _then_ , they’d make love. It isn’t a far-off dream, though Chanyeol admits he’s a little embarrassed by how eager he is.

One minor hiccup: Junmyeon never showed up.

Chanyeol, whose body could never decide whether he was a light or heavy sleeper, awakes to the sound of a sharp gasp. By some miracle of God, he hadn’t ended up face down in his food, but it _was_ cold, and the candles were pretty much melted all the way. He looks up, meeting Junmyeon’s eyes after being momentarily blinded by the other’s cell phone flashlight. “Hey there,” he says, hoarse and throaty with the vestiges of sleep.

“Oh, man,” Junmyeon breathes, moving quickly toward what is probably the most pitiful sight he’s ever seen in his life. “Oh, boy, Chanyeol, I’m _so_ sorry, I _just_ got your messages, and…” He runs a hand through his hair. Though he ought to be livid, Chanyeol still finds himself endeared by the gesture. At least he seems genuinely horrified by his mistake.

“Did you just get back?” What a stupid question. Of course, he did. A quick glance at his too-bright phone indicates that it’s 3:47 am. Well. He’d slept for six hours. Filming ended at 9 pm. Junmyeon spent six hours unaccounted for. Chanyeol reaches out, taking Junmyeon’s hand and pressing it to his chapped lips.

The elder seems to be very distressed. “I’m sorry,” he repeats. “The crew wanted to go out for drinks after the shoot, but I lost track of time, and… jeez, I’m so fucking sorry, Chanyeol.” He steps closer so that he’s directly in front of him, allowing the younger to rest his head against his stomach. Junmyeon strokes his hair gently, his other hand cupping his. “I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“Fast food for lunch tomorrow?” Chanyeol mumbles. He’s not very coherent, but he knows enough to remember that he’s got a pretty busy schedule tomorrow. Though he would very much enjoy spending every waking moment making up for the six hours they’ve lost, he likes to think of himself as somewhat responsible.

“Thought that wasn’t your style.” Junmyeon chuckles, the nimble movement jostling his lover ever so slightly. “Sure you don’t want me to get you some _high-quality_ take-out? Call sheet said I’m not needed until Thursday.”

Chanyeol can’t keep his eyes open, instead shifting so that he can bury his face fully into Junmyeon’s shirt. “Wanna get off this stupid diet,” he grumbles. “Plus, I fucking love Big Macs. Just needa spend some time with you ’s all.”

“Okay.” Junmyeon kisses the top of his head. It’s an awkward movement, requiring him to bend at a weird angle. Chanyeol would just rather sleep and mumbles as much. They go upstairs, remove their clothes, and climb into bed, but not in the way Chanyeol had spent all day fantasizing. At the moment, he’s not complaining.

His slumber resumes with some minor discomfort. Not physically, because they spent a lot of goddamn money on this bed and it feels like a cloud. But the way Junmyeon curls into him, the uncomfortable warmth of his skin, just feels all _wrong_.

…

 

They used to go out for brunch every Sunday. That was their “thing,” derived from their uncompromising schedules. In the beginning, it was mostly Chanyeol working on a sci-fi blockbuster and holing himself up for days. He spent all of his free time with Junmyeon — though it was mostly sleepy, koala-like cuddling than hanging out and actually talking. Now, in combination with _UNCLE_ ’s production, it is understandable that Junmyeon simply might not be able to go every week. That isn’t the problem.

The problem is (and now Chanyeol is feeling a bit stupid putting the thought into words) that Junmyeon wants to move brunch to Monday.

Or, rather, Monday _s_. As in _permanently_.

Perhaps he sounds childish when he insists this is an impossibility. But this is their ‘ _thing_ ’. Maybe if he says it enough, it’ll get through Junmyeon’s thick skull.

The elder stares at him like he’s grown another head.

Maybe not.

“Chanyeol, you’re being unreasonable,” Junmyeon snaps, arms crossed defensively. He looks more like a disappointed parent than a boyfriend, furrowed brow and all, which only serves to incite Chanyeol’s anger further. ‘Trouble in paradise’ doesn’t even begin to cover the irritation quickly eating him up. Junmyeon doesn’t get it. They don’t do ‘sentimental.’

Actually, _Chanyeol_ does ‘sentimental.’ Junmyeon does ‘occasional tsundere’ and refuses to allow himself to be ‘cheapened by sensitivity,’ or something like that. He has no idea when this Junmyeon came to be, if this is post-Kris Junmyeon or if he was always like this. Maybe Chanyeol had been expecting too much from this relationship. He’d been imagining being Junmyeon’s boyfriend since he was a teenager. And if he’s being particularly honest, being in a relationship with him was not at all like what he’d dreamed of.

“ _I’m_ being unreasonable? Sundays are your only days off! You _took_ them off so we could have brunch! What the fuck is the point of moving it to Monday?” He clenches his fists, fighting the urge to punch a wall. He would never lay a hand on Junmyeon — _God_ , _no_ — but his rage has to go somewhere, and it wouldn’t just settle and go away. He’s too smothered by restless energy, there’s too much that’s making his blood boil right now. “I just… what’s going _on_?”

“What do you mean? Chanyeol —”

“No, shut up, let me talk.” Junmyeon looks astonished, frozen in surprise. “There’s… everything’s been so fucking weird since production started. I don’t even know who I’m talking to right now. I thought you might’ve just been getting used to your new schedule. You’ve been on a break for a long time. But we’ve only done two things consistently for the year we’ve been together. We wish each other good night in some shape or form, and we _have brunch on Sundays_. Those are our only two things. I know you’re not at all sentimental. I understand that you don’t present yourself as someone who gets very attached. People show affection in different ways. I have been trying for months and months to be what you want me to be, you’re not meeting me halfway. All you’ve done is take and take and take, and I don’t know how much I have left to give.”

Junmyeon’s gaze hardens, lower jaw jutted forward. He doesn’t say anything. The silence is suffocating. It’s their first big fight, and it seems ridiculously one-sided. Chanyeol doesn’t know what else to do or say. He opens his mouth to continue, but Junmyeon holds up a hand and walks out the door.

Part of Chanyeol wants to run after him, though he knows it would just make things worse. He’s at a loss.

This can’t be how it ends. He doesn’t want it to end.

…

  


It doesn’t end.

Chanyeol worries himself sick after Junmyeon’s departure, pacing trenches into the living room. Their relationship, in spite of his worst fears, doesn’t end. Junmyeon comes back after a few hours looking a little disheveled, but no worse for the wear. He brushed off Chanyeol’s concerns, conceded to having the next few brunches on Sunday, and shelved the discussion for later. When they were calmer and more rational (at least, on Chanyeol’s side), the pair agreed to move brunch to Monday. It wasn’t the _day_ the mattered, Junmyeon had insisted, it was the fact that he were spending together. He was right. Junmyeon was always right. A slight hitch had occurred when second unit’s hard work was destroyed by an unfortunate (and incredibly rare) bout of rain, which was why Junmyeon’s schedule had changed so dramatically.

Even though that matter had been… pretty amicably settled, all things considered, there was still a sneaking suspicion that something was still off. Junmyeon never answered his other question, apparently chalking it up to Chanyeol’s brief lapse in sanity, which they both believed was a result of stress.

In an attempt to quell it, he began trying to fix perceived wrongs in his life. It wasn’t January, but he was certainly making a lot of resolutions. Chanyeol’s sleep cycle really only has two settings: “all the fucking time” or “not at all.” Recently, though, he’s been trying to correct it by taking small naps. Small is a generally foreign concept to him, being roughly 6’2”, unfortunately, so his naps tend to be half-sleeps maxing out at around three hours and simultaneously refreshing and tiring him out. He enjoys the brief respite — it’s just that he finds it difficult to roll out of bed once he’s up. He has an alarm. It doesn’t do much.

Sometimes, Junmyeon naps with him. He’s usually up and showering by the time Chanyeol’s eyes flutter open, though, leaving him envious of the elder’s vivacity. It’s not fair. Even if Chanyeol’s only a year younger, his relative youth clearly indicates he ought to be livelier than his boyfriend.

Just today, however, his body decides to cooperate with the general definition of a nap, waking up at around forty-five minutes of rest. Though he’s a little bit disoriented, Chanyeol does notice one very important thing. When he stretches his arm behind him, groping for Junmyeon’s warmth, there is nothing. Not even any dips on the bed to oust Junmyeon’s occasional playful dodging. The shower isn’t running and the bathroom light is off, too. For a few moments, the house seems eerily quiet.

Wrapping the comforter around him, Chanyeol pads around upstairs like a lost puppy, looking for any sign of Junmyeon. His keys are gone. He also didn’t leave a note behind. Has he been doing this every time?

Realizing how pitiful it was to wait for his boyfriend to come home, Chanyeol instead decides to work. He makes pretty decent progress, responding to seven — _seven_ — emails. And he doesn’t even cringe at faux-professional diction! With no projects to work on in the meantime, waiting for footage and ADR to be delivered to him, Chanyeol resumes working on a little passion project — an album that would probably never be released. It’s easy to get lost in, coming up with melodies, fiddling with instrumentation, and scribbling down lyrics. For all his skill in creating sound effects, he’s also not half bad at producing music. Chanyeol had always thought it was a pipe dream, albeit one he was easily taken by. Relegating it to hobby made, at the very least, a fulfilling pastime.

He’s so absorbed that he doesn’t hear the garage door open and close, doesn’t hear anyone coming in, and doesn’t even realize Junmyeon’s home until the door to the bedroom opens. Chanyeol yelps, making Junmyeon shout, and jumps. Hand pressed to his chest, he has to struggle to even out his breathing. “You scared me!” Chanyeol gasps.

“You scared _me_!” Junmyeon laughs.

“Where were you?” The answer should be obvious, given the elder’s attire. Junmyeon is covered head to toe in workout gear and his hair looks a bit wet. There’s a nice sheen on his skin, but he looks less sore and more… loose. Chanyeol’s very familiar with this physicality. Junmyeon approaches him — a light limp barely noticeable — and presses a kiss to Chanyeol’s lips. “Your gym isn’t open on Sundays.”

“I know.” Junmyeon smiles sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “I, uh, hired a personal trainer. Apparently, according to Joan, I’m getting pudgy. It’s not very spy-like.”

Chanyeol pecks him. Junmyeon winces as he’s tugged onto his lap. “I don’t think you’re pudgy. I think you’re sexy.” He blinks. “Have you been sneaking off during all of my naps?” It sounds accusatory; he doesn’t mean it to be. Mostly.

“Not _all_ of them. I just see him Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and every other Sunday.”

“Oh, so just _most_ of them.”

Junmyeon pouts as Chanyeol presses kisses to his collar. He smells different.

“Are you… wearing cologne?”

A strange look flashes across the other’s face before he chuckles and sniffs his shirt. “I didn’t think anyone could still smell it… I usually work out by myself and give no shits, but since he gets pretty up close and personal, I didn’t wanna… smell bad, y’know? I’ve got an image to maintain.”

“Ah, yes,” Chanyeol hums, “the aromatic Junmyeon Kim.”

Junmyeon throws his head back as he laughs, weakly protesting as Chanyeol starts to nip at his throat. “No, Yeol —” He laughs so hard he almost falls off. “Let me _shower_! I feel gross.” He slides off Chanyeol’s lap gingerly and peels off his jacket. Chanyeol thinks to ask him later about where he got his shirt. For someone so sweaty, Junmyeon’s clothes don’t have a lot of stains.

“Hey,” Chanyeol calls quietly. Junmyeon, halfway to the bathroom, turns. “I’ve got abandonment issues, okay? You’re not allowed to leave me all alone — especially without telling me.”

Junmyeon’s smile falters for a split second. If Chanyeol had blinked, he would’ve missed it. He doesn’t comment on the brief lapse of mirth. Junmyeon throws him a thumbs up and steps into the shower.

Chanyeol doesn’t think that was much of an agreement.

….

He can be wrong sometimes, through. Chanyeol can admit that (usually after some prodding).

Maybe he was just… a little paranoid about their relationship. He’s not used to the honeymoon phase burning out. Once it does, that’s usually when his relationships end. Junmyeon’s still there, however. He still smiles at Chanyeol fondly and wakes him up with increasingly frequent blowjobs. He’s almost wrapped on _UNCLE_ , so Chanyeol can only imagine the volume of their sexual escapades will increase once it’s all done.

Not that Chanyeol’s complaining. It’s just… sudden.

Maybe it’s Junmyeon’s way of making up for the speed bumps in their first year together. Chanyeol is the first person to admit he’s not a perfect person, but there’s a part of him that can’t help but think Junmyeon could’ve tried harder to meet him halfway. The decay could have been avoided if they’d both just put the same amount of effort into working things out. But he’s been busy, so Chanyeol understands.

And besides, he’s not about to turn down sex. Junmyeon Kim’s still a very attractive man. Chanyeol thinks Junmyeon might never stop being attractive. How fortunate Chanyeol is, to be able to call himself Junmyeon’s lover..

As he plows Junmyeon into the kitchen island, he realizes they’d never really taken the time to christen every surface of their home until now. Really thinking about it, they were a pretty sexually conservative couple. Always restrained to the couch or their bedroom, really only ever employing, like, three positions, it’s actually… kind of sad.

“Hey,” Junmyeon says sharply, startling Chanyeol back to reality. “Please focus on me, and on this.” Chanyeol gasps a little as he clenches. “You’re killing me here, Yeol.”

“Sorry….” He didn’t mean to doze off. Maybe it was the oversaturation for lack of a better word. They’d been having sex almost every day, even when Junmyeon’s filming ran late into the night. Could one blame Chanyeol’s mind for wandering? (Yes). To his credit, though, he seemed to be doing a good job even with the distraction.

Junmyeon chuckles, stroking his hair. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere,” Chanyeol insists. He alters the angle of his thrusts minutely, relishing Junmyeon’s yelp of surprise. “I’m right here. Need me to prove how ‘right here’ I am?” Well aware that his ass is going to be a little sore from Junnyeon’s heels drumming against it, he quickens his pace as he places loving nips behind his lover’s ear.

“Oh, _God_ ,” Junmyeon gasps. He reaches down to jerk himself off, other hand tugging Chanyeol’s hair. He comes not long after and takes Chanyeol with him. Junmyeon not-so-gently pushes him off with a half-hearted. “You’re crushing me!”

It always ends like this, Junmyeon retreating back into his own little world once they’re finished. The master of mixed signals. He doesn’t reject Chanyeol’s post-coital affection, but it’s also noticeable that he never initiates any of it. Chanyeol can’t help but feel a bit used. He’s grateful (and he starts to wonder if one should ever feel _grateful_ for sex). His only ponderence is whether Junmyeon himself is into it or if Chanyeol’s just his most convenient partner. Junmyeon could be screwing Kris, who’s probably even _more_ convenient, but he’s not, so Chanyeol considers himself momentarily appeased.

The kitchen smells of sweat and sex, quiet except for the sounds of their heavy breathing. Chanyeol wrinkles his nose and stands up. They _eat_ in here. Junmyeon watches him grab a towel and scrub the granite furiously with some amusement. “Hey,” he chuckles, reaching out to stroke his arm, “you don’t have to do that. I mean, we’re just gonna dirty it up again soon, right?”

“What, like right _now_?”

Junmyeon shrugs. “You seem like you’re ready. And you don’t have to stick it in my ass for both of us to have a good time.” Blunt. Chanyeol had almost forgotten. “Why don’t you get back down here and mess me and this counter up, hm?” He loops an arm around Chanyeol’s neck, dragging him into a sloppy kiss.

Chanyeol huffs lightly when they break apart. “Is that all you keep me around for? Sex?” The question is meant mostly in jest, but it becomes genuine when Junmyeon looks stricken for a moment. “Seriously?”

Junmyeon pauses then laughs at his dismayed expression. “Oh, you should’ve seen your face! I’m just kidding, babe, I…” A hand lifts to stroke his cheek. Chanyeol holds it there, relishing his warmth his warmth. “You know I love you right, babe? I know I haven’t been the best at showing it lately, but I really do love you, Chanyeol Park.” Junmyeon gives him a quick peck, following up something far longer and more tender. A kiss that holds a promise.

“I love you, too,” Chanyeol whispers. The way Junmyeon’s smile lights up his face makes his heartbeat soar.

God, he can’t wait for filming to be over.

…

The week before wrapping, Chanyeol’s surprised and pleased to know that both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are free for dinner on the same day. The former only has a couple of scenes left, while the latter’s Pantages show has recently finished and is about to fly back to New York. This is the first relationship Chanyeol’s had where it’s taken him over a year to introduce his partner to his best friend. They both agree to meeting, and Chanyeol couldn’t be happier.

Olive Garden isn’t the most sophisticated place to make such an important introduction, but it’s a place they all enjoy. Junmyeon is at first a little startled when they arrive thirty minutes before their set meeting, but his face softens in understanding when he sees Kyungsoo approach fifteen minutes later.

“Your hair!” Chanyeol blurts, earning a scandalized gasp from Junmyeon and a chuckle from Kyungsoo.

“Yes, I know. It’s… _very short_.” The equally short man ducks in a quick bow and reaches out to shake Junmyeon’s hand. “Wow, Hollywood royalty. It’s nice to meet you, Junmyeon.”

“Likewise, Tony-winning director Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon says, apple-cheeked and eyes crinkled at the corners. They sit in the plush chairs and indulge in the wine Chanyeol ordered a few moments ago.

“I gotta say,” Kyungsoo begins, “I didn’t believe Chanyeol at first when he told me he nabbed your number.”

“Why’s that?”

Kyungsoo laughs. “He’s got to have told you that he used — probably still does, actually — have a huge crush on you all throughout high school and college. Like posters on the wall, practiced kissing with pillows, swooning, gushing, movie-marathoning, _huge_ crush.”

Chanyeol flushes and sinks into his chair as Junmyeon laughs. “You don’t have to talk about me like I’m not here,” he grumbles. Junmyeon strokes the back of his neck placatingly.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have let me see that incredibly embarrassing side of you. You know, I use you as a point of reference every time we get a new Marius.”

“Gooodddddd….”

“And this doesn’t bother you?” The tone of the conversation changes just like that. It’s a tactic Kyungsoo often does to intimidate his actors, attempting to frighten them while at the same time breaking the ice. Except Junmyeon isn’t in Kyungsoo’s ensemble and he sounds startlingly genuine. Junmyeon freezes. “Well? One would think that level of adoration would be… so _very_ enticing.”

“What kind of person do you take me for?” Junmyeon sounds amused and good-natured, but Chanyeol can tell by his stiffness and clenched jaw that he’s a little offended. They’re not even five minutes in and it’s already going somewhat poorly. “I know actors get a bad rep when it comes to romance, but I like to think I stray from the norm. Chanyeol wasn’t anything like what you just described when we first got together if it’s any consolation. And I wouldn’t be here if he turned out to be.”

Kyungsoo’s lips twitch. While the movement could be construed as a smile, there’s no real humor in his eyes. If it was a test, Chanyeol’s pretty sure Junmyeon just failed. “Just looking out for one of my best friends. Sincerity is very rare in this industry, as I’m sure you know. And Chanyeol’s been hurt befo —”

“All right!” Chanyeol says loudly, waving a waiter over. “I think… that we’re ready to order!” He’s startled his company with the volume, but he’s sure he just cut off something that was about to become really toxic and volatile.

He spends the rest of the meal playing mediator, ensuring everything remains in the realm of smalltalk. It’s really such a pity. Kyungsoo and Junmyeon are actually quite alike; the fact that they got off on the wrong foot might’ve killed what would have been a good friendship. It might have even nabbed Junmyeon his Broadway debut. Alas, when they all retire for the night, it’s with a tension that makes Chanyeol’s palms sweaty. He visualizes lasers shooting from their eyes as Kyungsoo and Junmyeon bid each other goodbye. The “it was nice meeting you”s are anything but sincere.

Junmyeon makes his true feelings clear when he hisses “What a fucking prick” under his breath as he gets into the car. Chanyeol can only meekly reply with, “He can be a little prickly at first.”

Kyungsoo, for his part, calls Chanyeol at the wee hours of night a few days later, having forgotten the three hour time difference. 6 am for him, 3 am for Chanyeol. Chanyeol, ever the good friend _and_ boyfriend, climbs out of bed (Junmyeon whimpers at the loss of his human furnace but otherwise remains asleep) and goes downstairs to take the call.

“What’s up?” he asks, voice cracking unattractively.

“I don’t like him.”

Chanyeol rubs at his eyes. “Gee, I never would have figured. What with the stink-eye and judgment towards his ordering a chicken parmesan. Olive Garden is an Italian restaurant, Soo, so what the fuck’s the problem with ordering a chicken parm?”

“It further proved my hypothesis that he’s a basic bitch.”

“Kyungsoo!”

“I’m not going to apologize for being honest.” Something crackles in the background; he’s probably making breakfast. Chanyeol’s stomach grumbles, and Kyungsoo sighs. “Look, you value my opinion as a friend, right? Well, value this — he’s not good for you.

“I flat out kept insulting you the entire time and he didn’t defend you once. ‘He wasn’t anything like what you just described’? Seriously? My dog could come up with something better.”

“He’s not that kind of guy, Soo.” Chanyeol yawns loudly, not bothering to hold the phone away. “Junmyeon’s not sentimental. Not the knight in shining armor, defend my maiden’s honor type. He did complain a lot about you being an asshole, though, if that helps.”

“It doesn’t,” Kyungsoo insists, “because it was probably more on his behalf than yours. Yeol, I’ve seen outrage in many different forms before. What I saw in Junmyeon’s eyes was the anger of a man offended, not that of a defensive lover. It doesn’t take 20/20 vision to see that you’re more invested in this relationship than he is.”

“Your vision’s fucking _ass_ , though,” Chanyeol retorts. Defending his lover. This is presumably what Kyungsoo was looking for Junmyeon the other night. “He’s super invested. We’re living together. _Have lived together_ for like, forever. Watch, he’s so invested he’s gonna accuse us of cheating one day.”

“Projection is not a sign of emotional investment.”

“No, but concern over potential infidelity _is_.”

…

If there’s any one lesson Chanyeol’s learned throughout his life, it’s “be careful what you wish for.”

Filming is over, and Junmyeon seems to be far more _present_ , but it’s not really as great as he imagined it to be. His sex life has slowed down considerably — now manageable but far from normally-paced. Junmyeon doesn’t go out as often as he used to either, staying home. Chanyeol can only assume his recent round of snappiness is a result of dreaded cabin fever. It’s funny how things change.

Chanyeol was a sociable individual before he met Junmyeon. He had friends — lots of them — but as his relationship began to transition from playful flirtation to something more serious and enduring, he saw them less and less. And then he and Junmyeon hit a rough patch, so he spent a lot of his time trying to fix something he really felt deeply for. His relationship fixed itself (mostly through _mind-blowing_ sex) and so it now feels like… everything’s gonna be okay. He can slowly start phasing Junmyeon from being 90% of his life to 85% and, hopefully soon, 70%. Chanyeol was glad to see Kyungsoo in person for the first time since the Disastrous Dinner. Junmyeon, on the other hand…

“How was lunch?” The terseness in his tone makes it obvious that he doesn’t want to know how lunch was. “Kyungsoo again?”

“... My best friend…? Yeah.” Junmyeon has best friends. Taekwoon, Kris, among several. The latter is overseas shooting some coming-of-age movie that’s going to rake in awards up the wazoo. Regardless, Junmyeon’s got pals. Chanyeol’s not entirely sure why they haven’t been hanging out these days. “Lunch was nice. He made a chicken bake, bacon and ranch and cheese. Fucking delicious.”

“I’m sure he was.”

Chanyeol blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing.” Junmyeon’s eyes remain fixed on _Shark Tank_ , though his face expresses anything other than rapt interest. Rather, he looks he’s smelling something particularly foul. It’s an ugly expression on a very beautiful man.

“What’s your problem with him?” Chanyeol drapes his jacket over the back of the couch. He moves Junmyeon’s legs to sit down and places them across his lap, massaging the soles of his feet. There could’ve been a more delicate way to phrase it, he knows, especially with the way Junmyeon’s face twists further, that Chanyeol’s made him uncomfortable. “You guys haven’t really seen each other enough to hate each other, right? I don’t get the deal. I hate seeing my two favorite people in the world fighting.”

“Who comes first on that list?” Junmyeon challenges. He’s stiff, defensive. This is a side Chanyeol hasn’t seen much of (if at all), and it’s increasingly clear that their honeymoon phase ended a long time ago. And this is no _Pax Romana_. “Me or Kyungsoo? Because from the way things are looking, it sure seems like he’s in the lead.”

“What are you talking about? I come home to you every day! I sleep in the same bed, drive the same care, use the same body wash and deodorant. We _smell_ the same, Junmyeon. You’re the person I’m dating — not him!”

Junmyeon swings his legs off of his lap almost childishly. “And every day, it’s ‘Kyungsoo this, Kyungsoo that.’ How he told you something funny that happened during his rehearsals, or how he recommended this restaurant that we just _have_ to try. It certainly feels like you’re dating him instead of me.”

Chanyeol rounds on him, fingers digging through his own hair in frustration. “I’m like that when I’m with him, too! I’m pretty sure he’s sick of hearing your name because I talk about you all the _goddamn_ time! I just want you to be part of my life, to know the people I consider close friends —”

“Speaking of _friends_ , that’s all you want me to believe Yoongi Min is? What the hell were you doing at his place so late last week?”

“We were making music!” The incredulous laugh and flailed arms both infuriate and appalls Chanyeol. “He’s a rapper, I like rap music. I don’t see the disconnect.” Rubbing his face, Chanyeol sighs. He has a couple of anger problems. They waned when he was single, having no one but himself to be angry at. He never thought Junmyeon would bring them out of him like this. Chanyeol struggles to stay calm. To think he’d been counting the days until _UNCLE_ wrapped, reshoots and all. Now he wants nothing but for the press tour to start so Junmyeon can get off his back. Fuck, he might even call Kris back from Italy so he can screw some sense back into Junmyeon like he’d been doing all throughout the shoot. “Have I done something to make you think that I’ve been cheating? I can’t think of anything.

“Look, when I start seeing someone or seeing someone _seriously_ , I tend to hyper fixate on them. Spend all my free time being with them, screwing like bunnies. Smothering. The works. The same happened when we got together. Then, once things start to get comfy, domestic, when things are cooled down, I start… going back to the way I actually am.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, avoiding looking at Junmyeon. If he’s being particularly honest, he’s only ever gotten to that last stage once. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I was a super clingy boyfriend as my default. I’m just like that —”

“— until you’re sure they’re not going to run away?” Junmyeon’s voice is soft. When Chanyeol looks up, he’s taken aback a little by how the other looks at him with… _concern_ , of all emotions. It makes him something ugly and dark twist in his gut. He hates that look on Junmyeon’s face, directed at him. Momentarily, he thinks about slapping it off. How dare he look at him like that? Is that… pity? Fuck him. Chanyeol doesn’t need pity. He wants a boyfriend, not a psychoanalyst. Pity’s for psychos with commitment issues and unhealthy dependency, and Chanyeol’s not like that at all. He doesn’t give a shit if he’s said something to the contrary; people lie all the fucking time, don’t they? Junmyeon’s been lying since the start of this whole damned thing anyway, so — “Chanyeol?”

He blinks and comes back to himself. Chanyeol doesn’t recall ever standing up, doesn’t remember Junmyeon coming close enough to place his hands on Chanyeol’s face and cup his cheeks. Junmyeon’s eyes search his. Probably looking for what’s left of his sanity. Chanyeol gradually unclenches his fists, wincing at the slight ache his nails leave behind. “I…” He swallows. Junmyeon looks at him expectantly. “I’m not cheating on you. I would never cheat on you. I love you.”

Junmyeon shudders as Chanyeol puts his hands on his shoulders and slides them down the length of his body, stopping at his hips.

“I love you,” Chanyeol says again. “I _love_ you.” He squeezes.

“I believe you,” Junmyeon breathes.

…

“We both know Liying’s hot,” Junmyeon says, in what seems to be a spectacular 180 from just a few days ago. He has so many moods, it’s difficult to keep up with them all. Chanyeol wonders what it’d be like to live in his brain for a week. “I’m not gonna claw your eyes out if you look at her tits.” Not that she has much of them, Chanyeol laments.

“But looking’s _cheating_ ,” Chanyeol drawls. He bites back a yelp as Junmyeon elbows. Originally, he didn’t think he’d be going on the press tour with Junmyeon. Chanyeol fared… decently in front of crowds, but his milieu is more laid back. More crew parties, less reporter-filled red carpets. Less of a chance of saying the wrong thing. As it turns out, since he’s a nobody, the reporters don’t care what he has to say. All he has to do is stand next to Junmyeon and look pretty, which he does _very_ well.

They’re at the afterparty in New York City, and Chanyeol almost feels a bit like Jay Gatsby.

The hotel is ridiculously opulent, and while Chanyeol doesn’t believe the movie’s going to make any money, he’s glad they’re going all out. Junmyeon looks like he’s enjoying himself. Now that Chanyeol really thinks about it, he’s the _Kris Wu_. Or, at least, what Kris functioned as during _Thrones_ parties. Arm candy. _Junmyeon’s_ arm candy. Wow. Truly a dream come true.

“Well,” says Junmyeon, “I wouldn’t… care. If you cheated. It’s not a big deal.” He speaks so nonchalantly, as if his blasé tone will blind Chanyeol to his words. Were it anybody else, it might’ve worked. But, as Chanyeol is an _incredible_ boyfriend, he hangs onto Junmyeon’s every intonation.

Chanyeol gapes. “You. Don’t say shit you don’t mean.”

“Oh, so you were considering it?” Junmyeon smirks, arching a brow.

“Oh… Of course. It was a test. I thought you’d been replaced by an identical twin or something.” Chanyeol chuckles, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He tightens his grip on Junmyeon’s waist and rests his head atop the other’s.

“No, I was being serious.” Junmyeon shrugs. “I just figure we’d get past it if you did. It’s amoral — abso-fucking-lutely — but it’d just be another hurdle. I thought a lot about it after our, ah, disagreement.” He leans into Chanyeol’s side. Across the room, Kris’s smile tightens. His arm loosely draped around Liying grows stiff and awkward-looking. Chanyeol always thought their relationship was probably a publicity stunt for her brand new music career. It had been too sudden, a repeat of the romance on set Kris and Junmyeon had ten years prior. “I believe we’re strong enough to survive something like that.”

Sure. He’s totally not just covering his own ass.

“What?” Junmyeon’s smile falls.

Shit, he wasn’t supposed to say that out loud.

“Chanyeol —” Junmyeon quiets when Chanyeol waves his hand dismissively at him.

“Hush, let’s just enjoy tonight.” They say that ignorance is bliss. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. But the thing was, he knew, and he wasn’t hurt. Not really. He tries to placate Junmyeon further with vague platitudes, but there’s a horror on the elder’s face that doesn’t leave for the rest of the night. Kris seems to pick up on it, but he never approaches Junmyeon to speak — probably in fear of the tabloids jumping on any sort of contact between them. Sitting beside each other in countless interviews was enough for the press to spark rumors of reconciliation only to be quashed by Kris and Liying announcing their relationship.

Junmyeon looks up at Chanyeol, and then to Kris, looking as if he wants to run.

So much for ignorance.

…

“You have to know, right?” Chanyeol’s never had such a melancholy phone call since he learned his parents had to put their dog down. Kyungsoo sounds more apologetic than resigned. Honestly, Chanyeol’s rather disappointed in him. Does he really think that little of his cognitive abilities? “He’s cheating on you. Hell, he might’ve been cheating on you the whole time.”

Chanyeol smiles. “No fucking duh.”

…

The signs have been there this whole time. Hell, Chanyeol figured it out ages ago, with no need for Kyungsoo’s well-intentioned warning. He’s made his peace with it. Love is about sacrifice, isn’t it? Giving away parts of yourself to the person you love. Generally, you’re supposed to take too, but Junmyeon’s taken all of him and then some. Has his Chanyeol cake and is eating it too. There’s only one thing Chanyeol asks of him. He does so, and he’s not sure if Junmyeon is aware of it, but Junmyeon _is_ giving appropriately.

Nevertheless, Chanyeol thought he’d at least be discreet about it all. The personal trainer lie was good. He hadn’t even picked up on the intermittent Kris-isms. And while the sex was really nice, Junmyeon enhanced it further by actually acting as if he wasn’t lying back and thinking of someone else. It all comes with dating an actor, Chanyeol supposes, liars by trade. Junmyeon’s only mistake was “allowing” Chanyeol to cheat. Not the action in it of itself, but the quick change in attitude was a clear red flag. The way he spoke about them getting over infidelity made it clear that Junmyeon was really trying to set it up so that his own cheating would be “just another hurdle.”

He didn’t really get it, did he? The two of them were perfectly content to just keep carrying on as though everything was okay. Junmyeon _had_ to have realized Chanyeol knew. He wasn’t Tommy Wiseau, but he also wasn’t Marlon Brando either. And Chanyeol wasn’t completely hopeless.

Apparently, Chanyeol had shaken him that night in New York. Junmyeon cracked, constantly alternating between anxiety and indifference. He spends a lot of his time watching Chanyeol, particularly staring at him at night thinking that he’s asleep. Nothing’s _really_ changed, except every kiss and caress features an undercurrent of denial. They’re both pretending everything is okay. Junmyeon is doing so more poorly than Chanyeol — but perhaps that’s because Chanyeol has more experience at this.

Chanyeol wishes he could say something without it being weird. How often does the cuckold try to ease his partner’s crisis of conscience? Really, he doesn’t understand what’s wrong. Junmyeon had no problem sneaking around behind his back. Now, all of a sudden, things have… changed? The only difference is that they now _both_ know that Chanyeol knows.

Then again, maybe that’s why he allows himself to get caught.

Chanyeol _knows_ , so he can’t possibly be surprised when he catches Junmyeon and Kris fucking his bed.

At least they have the decency to stop.

“Oh shit,” Kris gasps. Chanyeol almost laughs out loud. He looks very comfortable in his white sheets, practically splayed all over Junmyeon, whose hands were threaded in his hair. Chanyeol wonders what Liying thinks about all this. Kris climbs off of Junmyeon, cupping his junk with his stupidly large Mickey Mouse mitts. Junmyeon just lays there, staring at the ceiling. To his credit, Kris doesn’t make excuses or pretend to be a malfunctioning sex robot. He just pulls on his clothes, throws Junmyeon one last look (which gets ignored), and leaves.

“Welcome home,” Junmyeon whispers. He’s still hard.

Chanyeol changes into his pajamas and climbs into bed beside him, turning the TV onto the _Food Network_. A few moments later, Junmyeon goes into the bathroom to get himself off.

…

It’s not supposed to end like this.

Junmyeon’s so goddamn _dense_ — it’s not supposed to end at all! Chanyeol has been so generous, so loving, so tolerant and long-suffering. Oh, only _now_ does he feel guilty? Or is he just done with Chanyeol now that he’s ruined the thrill of infidelity? Maybe that was the part of it he really loved, improvisation and sneaking around. He was playing the part of a real-life spy, but his surreptitious activities were only reduced to fooling around with someone that wasn’t his partner. If that was the case, he could’ve made it clear. Communication is so important in all relationships, but the two of them just glance right over it.

Even at the very end, Junmyeon’s keeping things from him. Chanyeol has no doubt that Junmyeon would’ve told him it was over until he was long gone. As luck would have it, however, Chanyeol catches him locking his suitcase in their bedroom. He _almost_ wishes he’d walked into see Kris’s bare, pale, flat ass again. He clenches his jaw, hands forming tight fists at his sides. Why, oh why, does Junmyeon insist on continually infuriating him?

“What do you think you’re doing?” That’s a pretty good villain line. Chanyeol has no misconceptions about being a good man.

Junmyeon stares blankly at him. “I’m leaving.”

“Why’s that?”

“Why not?” Junmyeon scoffs. “What’s the point of being with someone you don’t love? I think it should be… fairly obvious, Chanyeol. I never stopped loving Kris. I don’t think I ever will. I know what I did to you is unfair and cruel, so I’m putting it to an end. You love me so much. I thought, if… given time and proximity, I would’ve grown to love you too. And for a while, it was actually working. But then Kris came back. Groveled on his hands and knees to take him back.

“Did you know that I said ‘no’ at first? Unbelievable, right? I could’ve saved us both a lot of trouble if I’d just left you in the beginning to take him back. But you loved me. _Really_ loved me, and you loved me as much as I loved Kris. I got addicted to it. You made me feel amazing — and I don’t just mean physically. I was with Kris for a decade. It was easy to feel neglected. You fixed that.”

“Are those supposed to be _bad_ things?” Chanyeol steps toward him. Junmyeon leans back. Is he afraid of him? (He should be).

“You fixed it at first, but you very quickly became too much. You didn’t just love me. You were obsessed with me.”

“Stop.”

“I was lying to Kyungsoo when I said you were different. You never stopped being obsessed with me, even when you started leaving me alone. At first, it was cute. Romantic. It didn’t take long to feel like I was being suffocated.”

“Stop.”

“I… I think that I just wanted you to be another Kris. I saw you, and you just… reminded me so much of Kris when we first met all those years ago. When we broke up, I wanted nothing but to go back. And while I respected his decision not to be with me, I was hoping to have what we had again. I was stupid and naive to think that you could give me that.”

“Stop talking.”

“I used to compare you to Kris all the time. Tall and handsome. That’s where it ends. he’s romantic and spontaneous, you’re obsessed and, frankly, terrifying. Chanyeol, you need… you need help.”

“I said, _stop talking_.”

“Is that normal to you? To try spending every second of every day with me? You can’t imagine how relieved I was when you stopped.” Junmyeon tries to side-step him. He yelps when Chanyeol grabs his forearm, trying to pry him off. “What are you _doing_?”

“You’re lying.”

“Ow… stop!”

Chanyeol pushes Junmyeon into the wall, relishing the thump and the following yelp. “You’re lying! The moment I stopped, you got mad at me! Maybe you were lonely because Kris was playing tasteful ephebophilia in Italy or you were afraid he was going to stray overseas. The reason why doesn’t matter — you were mad. Furious. Was accusing me of cheating on you with Kyungsoo and Yoongi just another act? What is wrong with you? I don’t know _anything_ going through your head anymore!

“All I know is that you’re kind of an idiot. Did you think I didn’t know? You’re not as subtle as you think you are. Did you think I was taking naps for my own health? Fuck no. I’ve known since _brunch_. But you know what? I didn’t say anything. Kept my mouth shut. Turned a blind eye. I stayed. I didn’t mind. I didn’t care, because you were still here. With me. I admit I was jealous at first. I knew there must’ve been a reason you got with a tall, deep-voiced guy right after leaving another tall, deep-voiced guy. I’m not an idiot —”

“Chanyeol, you’re hurting me!”

“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! You don’t know anything. Just shut up and listen. I let you fool around right in front of my face. Don’t you see? I love you so much that I don’t care if you don’t love me back. Anyone with two brain cells can tell you and Kris are soulmates. Hell, I’m sure _you_ know that. But you’re here. With me. It was okay. A long as you were by my side, it was all okay. You don’t need to feel guilty, Junmyeon. I don’t mind. I’ve never minded. You don’t need to leave. You can be with him all you want. All you need to do is _stay_.”

Junmyeon tries to wrestle free. “You’re crazy!” He’s all limbs, arms pushing back futilely and legs out at anything he could possibly reach. “You’re fucking insane, just let me go!”

Chanyeol sees red. he’d just bared his heart to Junmyeon. Let him see the truth, told him all that he needed. He’s being vulnerable, yet Junmyeon’s here insulting him. Chanyeol would never do that to him. He’d treasure his openness, encourage him. He loves him. but Junmyeon doesn’t love him back. Even though he doesn’t _need_ to.

Really, it’s not that hard to understand. Is he doing this on purpose? Playing dumb so that Chanyeol will have to let him go? How annoying.

“Why don’t you fucking get it?” He shakes Junmyeon hard. There’s a blood-chilling crack. “Stay! That’s all I want! Stay!” _Crack_.

“Stay!” _Crack_.

“Stay!” _Crack_.

“Just fucking _stay!_ ” _Squelch_.

The elder slumps loosely to the floor when Chanyeol releases him, eyes blank. Crimson drips down from an ugly splatter on the wall. Junmyeon doesn’t move. Chanyeol kneels down beside him and shakes his shoulder lightly.

Junmyeon tips over and lays motionless on the floor. He’s stopped breathing. Chanyeol holds his fingers in front of his nose for a few moments to see if he’s trying to fake him out. Nothing. He sits beside him and pulls his head into his lap. Oh, messy Junmyeon, getting Chanyeol’s nice white shirt red with blood and brains.

This could’ve been avoided. Why did Junmyeon have to be so stubbornly obtuse? If he’d gotten everything the first time, none of this would’ve happened. It’s not Chanyeol’s fault. How could it be? He’d laid it out so clearly; Junmyeon was the one who resisted.

Stupid, beautiful Junmyeon. It’s at times like these when Chanyeol remembers how much he loves him.

They really could have been perfect. Kris was negligible. The only thing that would’ve mattered was that Junmyeon and Chanyeol were together, like they were supposed to be. The world would still be spinning on its axis, nothing has changed. Junmyeon and Chanyeol. Chanyeol and Junmyeon. That was all there needed to be. It did take a bit of convincing, but that’s how it is now. Kris doesn’t even need to be in the equation anymore. Now Junmyeon’s never going to leave.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Chanyeol laughs. He strokes Junmyeon’s hair. Red was always such a lovely color on him. He doesn’t think about the future, not quite. There’s a lot of work ahead of him, and he still needs to figure out what he’s going to tell Kris and make it believable. Junmyeon had been giving him acting pointers a few months earlier, so he might as well put them to good use. Chanyeol kisses Junmyeon’s forehead. Always looking out for him. “Silly boy. All you had to do was stay. That’s all I’ve ever asked of you.”

Junmyeon is quiet.

  
But at least he’s still _there_.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [jingukdoc](http://jingukdoc.tumblr.com/)  
> twitter: [wingsanaheim](http://twitter.com/wingsanaheim).


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